Dear Readers,
Well going off some of the other blogs, I've decided to write that ya they are not that innocent. They may not be getting any physically but cyber sex and webcam seem to be popular. Guess what? sorry to say I don't share. so enough about that cause that speaks for itself. It is another day of loneiness and some days are easier than others, today wasn't so much. Between last night and today a bunch of shit happened and I was stressed out!!! me and the hubby worked it out but it just made me wish he was here to handle the rest of everything else. I've only made a few friends here in GA. one is leaving me, but I still got rissa. but then I get to thinking about the next base we will be moving to. I have no idea as of yet where that will be but it's coming. I'm an army brat born and bred for this life. But the packing up and moving does get old, to certain extent. As my husband laces up his boots, I'll pack the house and move. It's what we do, we follow our men to where they go, and even off to war. I think the war is getting old though, I think they should have sent 7 miliatary wives over on the rag, and we would have won. not one bullet would have been wasted and we retain water lol. they wouldn't have seen it coming cause let me to tell you, the CIA has nothing on a woman with a plan!
CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IS DONE
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
DAY FIVE: JUST ANOTHER PISSY DAY OF LONELINESS
Dear Readers,
Lets just say today sucks......I have had another lonely day with out my husband.Some days I just wonder if Ill make it another FOUR MONTHS. Please DEAR GOD<3 <3 Please bring him home safe.I cant go on with out him there is no way.Since my hubs has left granted he left last DEC., I am now suffer from Severe Depression,and a Anxiety disorder. I have severe anxiety attacks at stressful times. Granted none of this happened till he left then again it could be two kids. No really the anxiety didn't start till after he left to back after R & R about mid May it hit me and i went through some serious suicidal moments.I couldn't breathe I couldn't function at all.I just wanted all the pain to go away.They put me on a heavy anxiety medicine.Ive been doing better my depression is not to bad now days that i have all my readers to write for.There may not be many of you but you keep me busy knowing everyday. I promised you as my readers i would at least write once a day. Needless to say i am out of my meds,Yesterday I have to go get a shot in my shoulder of cortisone and let me tell that shit hurts. So i figured since i was up so late last night and I'm talking 6am before I fell asleep. on top of that I latterly passed out of exhaustion on my shoulder.When I awoke I figured I would be so sore.This new medicine they put me on works wonders I was able to go grocery shopping painless. I forgot to mention while i was at the doctors i was all cool till they told me I was getting a shot OK no big deal right , No they had to put it in between my shoulders I
freaked out started having a attack and i couldn't breathe and i was feeling light headed. When it was done it kinda slowed down and i got a Lil better. When I left I had to run on post and get my meds filled and my best friend invited me for dinner so i went there and had dinner during dinner i started having chest pain and it just wouldn't stop.So i decided I would go home and rest then when i got here the pain in my shoulder was killing me so i couldn't sleep . Damn I could see staying up that late when i was younger but now I'm 23 and 23 might not seem so old to you but you gotta realize I had a baby the year I graduate High School. I had her In Dec. of 2004 and when i walked across that stage i had a full time job of being A mom. I didn't get to go off to college and have a life it just started. I love her to death don't get me wrong but I wish I would have waited i could have had a life. I have several issues with trying to feed here and get money to pay for her and me her father left when she was 6months I just shrugged it off i got a job and i started working. My grand parents paid for me to go to school and i went I became a and i worked my ass off I mean up to 80 Hrs a week i had never had this kinda money and i got greedy so she stayed with family a lot and i worked all the time. My husband then came back around in DEC of 08 but in Jan of 06 i married another man that left for prison a week after we married and again i was alone. I started hating him for doing it to me and I started a divorce case and i got back with my ex (now my hubby) And we tried working things out and decided that it was worth a shot I went to court In Jan. of 08 and wasn't granted my divorce there was all kids of stuff to get done and in April of 08 my hubs left for basic with the army. I had stuff to do so i went back to work and started getting ready to pay for a whole new divorce. I was still talking to my hubs went down there to see him graduate basic but he still had AIT and i left to go back to work i found out i was pregnant with id days I had a miscarriage and decided OK it wasn't for us. I had to go back in a month to Fort Benning for his graduation from AIT we spent three days there and obviously had sex. He had to report to Fort Stewart on the 8th of Aug. And he left i would remain In Texas til i was officially divorced I found out on Aug 23 that i was pregnant. I was on the phone with him when i found out so i told him and we got all excited. I was suppose to go to court the next day so I went and my divorce was not granted. It pissed me off so I left for Georgia I was suppose to be divorced and I wasn't so I just left i was prepared and paid for another attorney to start it and was getting ready for court when my hubs got into a lot of trouble then it came up i was still married so they took him back on post and kicked me out of the house and i was out ON the street with a baby in my tummy. I called my dad he came all the way to GA and picked me up took me to TX and i lived with him. I found out i was gonna have my son on the 20th of April and i was due in court on the 23 of April and i was definitely getting divorced so I called my hubs and they told him if it was a for sure thing he could come to Texas and the baby born he arrived two days before i was to have a c section and we tried to make me go into labor early. Well because I was cutting it really close. I had my son early morning on the 20th got out of the hospital two days later. Went home relaxed got up early and made it to court...In the state of Texas you can not be granted a divorce if you are pregnant no matter the situation. And i hadn't been with him for almost three years so I took a lot of pain meds and faced the judge my mother was behind me holding me up I was swaying. The judge looked at the paperwork and granted my case. I went home got my hubs and because he was active duty I didn't have to wait three days to get married we applied for a marriage license like an hour after I got out of court. I had me papers took them with me and it was done all we had to do was get married and my hubs was leaving in three days.We got up the next morning telling no one but our best friends they showed up to be witnesses and hold the kids. We got married and he left. The army was giving him heel that I didn't need to be here cause he was to deploy in less than a year so I waited till he was in the field packed up everything and headed for GA. I arrived the 9th of June and have been here every since. This is the end to my blog today since Ive been writing it for over three hours.
Peace, Love,and Happiness
Lets just say today sucks......I have had another lonely day with out my husband.Some days I just wonder if Ill make it another FOUR MONTHS. Please DEAR GOD<3 <3 Please bring him home safe.I cant go on with out him there is no way.Since my hubs has left granted he left last DEC., I am now suffer from Severe Depression,and a Anxiety disorder. I have severe anxiety attacks at stressful times. Granted none of this happened till he left then again it could be two kids. No really the anxiety didn't start till after he left to back after R & R about mid May it hit me and i went through some serious suicidal moments.I couldn't breathe I couldn't function at all.I just wanted all the pain to go away.They put me on a heavy anxiety medicine.Ive been doing better my depression is not to bad now days that i have all my readers to write for.There may not be many of you but you keep me busy knowing everyday. I promised you as my readers i would at least write once a day. Needless to say i am out of my meds,Yesterday I have to go get a shot in my shoulder of cortisone and let me tell that shit hurts. So i figured since i was up so late last night and I'm talking 6am before I fell asleep. on top of that I latterly passed out of exhaustion on my shoulder.When I awoke I figured I would be so sore.This new medicine they put me on works wonders I was able to go grocery shopping painless. I forgot to mention while i was at the doctors i was all cool till they told me I was getting a shot OK no big deal right , No they had to put it in between my shoulders I
freaked out started having a attack and i couldn't breathe and i was feeling light headed. When it was done it kinda slowed down and i got a Lil better. When I left I had to run on post and get my meds filled and my best friend invited me for dinner so i went there and had dinner during dinner i started having chest pain and it just wouldn't stop.So i decided I would go home and rest then when i got here the pain in my shoulder was killing me so i couldn't sleep . Damn I could see staying up that late when i was younger but now I'm 23 and 23 might not seem so old to you but you gotta realize I had a baby the year I graduate High School. I had her In Dec. of 2004 and when i walked across that stage i had a full time job of being A mom. I didn't get to go off to college and have a life it just started. I love her to death don't get me wrong but I wish I would have waited i could have had a life. I have several issues with trying to feed here and get money to pay for her and me her father left when she was 6months I just shrugged it off i got a job and i started working. My grand parents paid for me to go to school and i went I became a and i worked my ass off I mean up to 80 Hrs a week i had never had this kinda money and i got greedy so she stayed with family a lot and i worked all the time. My husband then came back around in DEC of 08 but in Jan of 06 i married another man that left for prison a week after we married and again i was alone. I started hating him for doing it to me and I started a divorce case and i got back with my ex (now my hubby) And we tried working things out and decided that it was worth a shot I went to court In Jan. of 08 and wasn't granted my divorce there was all kids of stuff to get done and in April of 08 my hubs left for basic with the army. I had stuff to do so i went back to work and started getting ready to pay for a whole new divorce. I was still talking to my hubs went down there to see him graduate basic but he still had AIT and i left to go back to work i found out i was pregnant with id days I had a miscarriage and decided OK it wasn't for us. I had to go back in a month to Fort Benning for his graduation from AIT we spent three days there and obviously had sex. He had to report to Fort Stewart on the 8th of Aug. And he left i would remain In Texas til i was officially divorced I found out on Aug 23 that i was pregnant. I was on the phone with him when i found out so i told him and we got all excited. I was suppose to go to court the next day so I went and my divorce was not granted. It pissed me off so I left for Georgia I was suppose to be divorced and I wasn't so I just left i was prepared and paid for another attorney to start it and was getting ready for court when my hubs got into a lot of trouble then it came up i was still married so they took him back on post and kicked me out of the house and i was out ON the street with a baby in my tummy. I called my dad he came all the way to GA and picked me up took me to TX and i lived with him. I found out i was gonna have my son on the 20th of April and i was due in court on the 23 of April and i was definitely getting divorced so I called my hubs and they told him if it was a for sure thing he could come to Texas and the baby born he arrived two days before i was to have a c section and we tried to make me go into labor early. Well because I was cutting it really close. I had my son early morning on the 20th got out of the hospital two days later. Went home relaxed got up early and made it to court...In the state of Texas you can not be granted a divorce if you are pregnant no matter the situation. And i hadn't been with him for almost three years so I took a lot of pain meds and faced the judge my mother was behind me holding me up I was swaying. The judge looked at the paperwork and granted my case. I went home got my hubs and because he was active duty I didn't have to wait three days to get married we applied for a marriage license like an hour after I got out of court. I had me papers took them with me and it was done all we had to do was get married and my hubs was leaving in three days.We got up the next morning telling no one but our best friends they showed up to be witnesses and hold the kids. We got married and he left. The army was giving him heel that I didn't need to be here cause he was to deploy in less than a year so I waited till he was in the field packed up everything and headed for GA. I arrived the 9th of June and have been here every since. This is the end to my blog today since Ive been writing it for over three hours.
Peace, Love,and Happiness
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