http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-07-28/fallen-soldiers-families-denied-cash-payout-as-life-insurers-boost-profit.html
Dear Readers,
I got this from a friend. this is whats happing to our death benifits from when our soldier dies.I know its hard to think of but if we dont do something we may never see those benifits. Because they are not FDIC insured.Read this and pass it on to everyone you know. I was every military spouse,mom,dad,and family to see whats going on. Peace , Love,and Happiness.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
DAY ELEVEN: WELL LETS JUST SAY I'VE BEEN BUSY!!!:P
Dear Readers,
Yesterday well.....was yesterday..I've been really busy!!! Buying sexy lingere for my sweetie when he comes home.If you must remember something today let it be that ROSS has awesome deals on cute stuff.Im on a new kick and it includes a new waredrobe, I plan on losing as much as possible before my hubs comes home.I want to be that sexy kitten every woman wants to be so from here forward...well from pay day forward cause i dont have non-fatting food here right now. Im gonna be a new person Im gonna go the places I normaly wouldnt,Im gonna walk when i would rather ride.Im hoping that by kicking my own ass that i will acheive what has always been just out of reach. I wanna drive my hubs crazy when he comes home. I want him to look twice and ladies if it takes me walking to walmart so be it.Im gonna go walking every day, park as far as i can from stores so im walking further for stuff and eat right. Im so sick of this fat girl i keep seeing in the mirror. I was that skinny bitch back that knows she can turn heads. Not waht i ended up with after two kids.So readers I want some input what you think will help me along the way? Im off to bed yeah i know its early see im starting early. So Peace,Love,and Happiness
Yesterday well.....was yesterday..I've been really busy!!! Buying sexy lingere for my sweetie when he comes home.If you must remember something today let it be that ROSS has awesome deals on cute stuff.Im on a new kick and it includes a new waredrobe, I plan on losing as much as possible before my hubs comes home.I want to be that sexy kitten every woman wants to be so from here forward...well from pay day forward cause i dont have non-fatting food here right now. Im gonna be a new person Im gonna go the places I normaly wouldnt,Im gonna walk when i would rather ride.Im hoping that by kicking my own ass that i will acheive what has always been just out of reach. I wanna drive my hubs crazy when he comes home. I want him to look twice and ladies if it takes me walking to walmart so be it.Im gonna go walking every day, park as far as i can from stores so im walking further for stuff and eat right. Im so sick of this fat girl i keep seeing in the mirror. I was that skinny bitch back that knows she can turn heads. Not waht i ended up with after two kids.So readers I want some input what you think will help me along the way? Im off to bed yeah i know its early see im starting early. So Peace,Love,and Happiness
Sunday, July 25, 2010
DAY NINE:TODAY IS A FUCK IT DAY
Dear Readers,
Today was a cleaning day. Ive been so busy that im only stopping bye for a bit to tell you what happened. Ill write tomorrrow. Peace , Love , and Happiness
Today was a cleaning day. Ive been so busy that im only stopping bye for a bit to tell you what happened. Ill write tomorrrow. Peace , Love , and Happiness
Saturday, July 24, 2010
DAY EIGHT: THIS IS FOR A FRIEND!!!!!
Dear Readers,
This is for a friend, whose husband left like a week ago for Iraq. I know times seem so hard , and its so easy to just leave everything unsaid. I'm telling you I know that's not the way to do it. For all you ladies out there who are experiencing your first deployment. You are not alone...Never are you alone. I'm seven months down and counting. I tried so hard to not let my feelings show. I wished I would have let it all out then maybe I wouldn't be having such issues now.I got friends like Blackrose , whose hubs left three months before mine and now I'm just about at wits end. I will add for my friends who are just going through this and its all new. Its gets easier I Promise. Days just go on and on forever it seems and some of us are just now letting him go. But I cant promise he wont come home all i can do is give you hope. Hope is all i have and courage and strength. Some one once told me "a wife is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until shes in hot water." I know we all fear we will mess up before our hubs is home we have a lot more responsibilities now that he is gone. He is suppose to run the house and we are suppose to keep up. Well ladies its time to show your strength and power. For we are army wives, their are not many like us, but those who came before us and will come after us. I suggest that you take life with a grain of salt. Rumors will fly and things will be said. I know that way too well. But like most army wives that too will pass, You will wake up to days going how much longer do I have to wait? That is always a revolving question....Oh and ladies please don't mention dates or countdowns with specific days.We all know the rules of OSPEC.If any of my readers ever just need to talk, My blog is always confidential , no names are ever mentioned. I'm always online and always receive emails too my phone so if you need to just let it out you can reach me 24/7. I can talk to you or you can just rant, in my advice spit everything out that bothers you. is the way to go then you will have a clean slate. I am advising you of this because like many army wives I was scared everyone might think I was weak and not make it for a whole year. It shows how strong you are and what you can handle. I can tell you not to try and explain to your family unless they them selves are military. No one can understand your life but others who are doing the same. I will also add that most civilians will ask stupid questions.......try not to lose your cool. I have heard lots like..um don't you miss him? I mean really come on are you really that stupid? Of course I miss him who doesn't miss their hubs. Weather they are gone for a week or just a day flat out WE MISS THEM. I would like to also address something that most military wives fight over. I was one of them....Some military wives only have to endure 6 Month deployments ...It depends on what their hubs does I'm not saying they are more special nor are we but we all suffer at some point. I have to say some wives go completely bonkers over 6months. All I gotta say is dont be arguing over whose done more yes 12 months is hard and 6 to some people are hard. Its not a who wins situation but more of if you need me im here. I wont say well mines only gone for 6months, thats just plain and simple rude.Everyone has a hard time and everyone suffers. That doesnt change for any deployment they may seem to get easier but the pain is never gone. The people who you barely know become your life line your hey I can call at 4am when Im missing him most. For those army wives are in the same place you are. I will also say you will find every now and then a shot of something calms your nerves. Im new al this too just more farther along than some . I can tell you I briefly remember the months that went by. I cant say they were easy because I would be lying. But i will inform you and I cant express this enough.....YOU ARE NEVER ALONE...THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE FEELING THE SAME PAIN AS YOU. Thanks for reading
Peace , Love, and Happiness.
This is for a friend, whose husband left like a week ago for Iraq. I know times seem so hard , and its so easy to just leave everything unsaid. I'm telling you I know that's not the way to do it. For all you ladies out there who are experiencing your first deployment. You are not alone...Never are you alone. I'm seven months down and counting. I tried so hard to not let my feelings show. I wished I would have let it all out then maybe I wouldn't be having such issues now.I got friends like Blackrose , whose hubs left three months before mine and now I'm just about at wits end. I will add for my friends who are just going through this and its all new. Its gets easier I Promise. Days just go on and on forever it seems and some of us are just now letting him go. But I cant promise he wont come home all i can do is give you hope. Hope is all i have and courage and strength. Some one once told me "a wife is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until shes in hot water." I know we all fear we will mess up before our hubs is home we have a lot more responsibilities now that he is gone. He is suppose to run the house and we are suppose to keep up. Well ladies its time to show your strength and power. For we are army wives, their are not many like us, but those who came before us and will come after us. I suggest that you take life with a grain of salt. Rumors will fly and things will be said. I know that way too well. But like most army wives that too will pass, You will wake up to days going how much longer do I have to wait? That is always a revolving question....Oh and ladies please don't mention dates or countdowns with specific days.We all know the rules of OSPEC.If any of my readers ever just need to talk, My blog is always confidential , no names are ever mentioned. I'm always online and always receive emails too my phone so if you need to just let it out you can reach me 24/7. I can talk to you or you can just rant, in my advice spit everything out that bothers you. is the way to go then you will have a clean slate. I am advising you of this because like many army wives I was scared everyone might think I was weak and not make it for a whole year. It shows how strong you are and what you can handle. I can tell you not to try and explain to your family unless they them selves are military. No one can understand your life but others who are doing the same. I will also add that most civilians will ask stupid questions.......try not to lose your cool. I have heard lots like..um don't you miss him? I mean really come on are you really that stupid? Of course I miss him who doesn't miss their hubs. Weather they are gone for a week or just a day flat out WE MISS THEM. I would like to also address something that most military wives fight over. I was one of them....Some military wives only have to endure 6 Month deployments ...It depends on what their hubs does I'm not saying they are more special nor are we but we all suffer at some point. I have to say some wives go completely bonkers over 6months. All I gotta say is dont be arguing over whose done more yes 12 months is hard and 6 to some people are hard. Its not a who wins situation but more of if you need me im here. I wont say well mines only gone for 6months, thats just plain and simple rude.Everyone has a hard time and everyone suffers. That doesnt change for any deployment they may seem to get easier but the pain is never gone. The people who you barely know become your life line your hey I can call at 4am when Im missing him most. For those army wives are in the same place you are. I will also say you will find every now and then a shot of something calms your nerves. Im new al this too just more farther along than some . I can tell you I briefly remember the months that went by. I cant say they were easy because I would be lying. But i will inform you and I cant express this enough.....YOU ARE NEVER ALONE...THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE FEELING THE SAME PAIN AS YOU. Thanks for reading
Peace , Love, and Happiness.
Friday, July 23, 2010
DAY SEVEN: PLEASE JUST KILL ME AND GET IT OVER!!!
Dear Readers,
My kids are on my very last nerve.......Well atlest my daughter I ask here to do simple things and she makes it so hard to just heat something up and feed it to her brother.I asked her to simply feed him so maybe I could get some time to talk to my hubs without distraction. I just cant seem to catch a break. I mean my doc told me yesterday that i needed to cut back on my anxity pills and would you plz look at my life......Obviously NOT! I think my damn doctor is a quack. I just wish that when something started working that he wouldnt say oh well you need to weine yourself off of it. I just got half my life straight and all of a sudden its no we need to stop. I could understand if i had been on it for like months or even years and ive been on it for two weeks! And in those two weeks dont get me wrong but they have been much easier than the other things. I just am at wits end I cant stand my husband and I cant stand my kids im lost on what to do. I have punished my daughter and took thinks away and grounded her. When all is said and done it goes write back to her not listening or doing what she is suppose to do. Its like she just loves pushing my buttons.Yesterday i get in my car and to leave for the drs and it wont crank. My lovely daughter left the keys in the car turned on adn it was dead. thank goodness my neighbor showed up just in time. he jumped me off in enough time that i got to my appointment. Sorry readers I cant type today is not a good day at all. Peace,Love, And Happiness
My kids are on my very last nerve.......Well atlest my daughter I ask here to do simple things and she makes it so hard to just heat something up and feed it to her brother.I asked her to simply feed him so maybe I could get some time to talk to my hubs without distraction. I just cant seem to catch a break. I mean my doc told me yesterday that i needed to cut back on my anxity pills and would you plz look at my life......Obviously NOT! I think my damn doctor is a quack. I just wish that when something started working that he wouldnt say oh well you need to weine yourself off of it. I just got half my life straight and all of a sudden its no we need to stop. I could understand if i had been on it for like months or even years and ive been on it for two weeks! And in those two weeks dont get me wrong but they have been much easier than the other things. I just am at wits end I cant stand my husband and I cant stand my kids im lost on what to do. I have punished my daughter and took thinks away and grounded her. When all is said and done it goes write back to her not listening or doing what she is suppose to do. Its like she just loves pushing my buttons.Yesterday i get in my car and to leave for the drs and it wont crank. My lovely daughter left the keys in the car turned on adn it was dead. thank goodness my neighbor showed up just in time. he jumped me off in enough time that i got to my appointment. Sorry readers I cant type today is not a good day at all. Peace,Love, And Happiness
Thursday, July 22, 2010
DAY SIX: LIFE
Dear Readers,
Life it seems has a funny way of working things out. Sometimes I would like to believe that we can control our own destiny but other times I get this feeling that we don't. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and some of them were alot of fun while I was at it, but not so much afterwards. I haven't always been the greatest friend to people, but I do try. I've learned I can't make everyone happy, and least of all myself. I'm always trying to make everyone happy long before me. And no some would say that is not fair to me, but It's who I am. I can't stand to have someone mad at me unless of course I did something to deserve it. and half the time I didn't even know I did it lol. Here lately I seem to be on someones shit list for whatever reason at the time. Seem to be really good at pissing people off and not even trying lol. no this is not really my friends i'm talking about it's mostly my family. I miss them alot, but there is a reason why you move the hell out! Now i'm on my own technically I have a husband and son, and it's my house my rules. but the house is lonley half the time. esp during deployment. I get to talk to my husband everyday, which is great but it cuts down on time I have to do things. He wants my undivided attention and I can't always give it to him. I try to explain that if he didn't get to call all the time, it would be different. I understand my husband in more ways than most people do, when they first meet him. He is not the easiest person to tolerate or get along with. For the most part me and him click. I couldn't imagine my life without him, even if he annoys me all the time. Mostly today, I spent alot of time cleaning and thinking. Thats what I do, I clean when I'm mad or stewing on something. Which is most days why my house is spotless lol. Today was a cleaning day, and I still haven't figured out anything. I think I need more bleach lol. Well it's thunderstorming and I might lose connection, so I'll cut this short. Don't look so much at whats wrong with life but more to what is right. The rest will fall into place.
CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IT DONE.
Life it seems has a funny way of working things out. Sometimes I would like to believe that we can control our own destiny but other times I get this feeling that we don't. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and some of them were alot of fun while I was at it, but not so much afterwards. I haven't always been the greatest friend to people, but I do try. I've learned I can't make everyone happy, and least of all myself. I'm always trying to make everyone happy long before me. And no some would say that is not fair to me, but It's who I am. I can't stand to have someone mad at me unless of course I did something to deserve it. and half the time I didn't even know I did it lol. Here lately I seem to be on someones shit list for whatever reason at the time. Seem to be really good at pissing people off and not even trying lol. no this is not really my friends i'm talking about it's mostly my family. I miss them alot, but there is a reason why you move the hell out! Now i'm on my own technically I have a husband and son, and it's my house my rules. but the house is lonley half the time. esp during deployment. I get to talk to my husband everyday, which is great but it cuts down on time I have to do things. He wants my undivided attention and I can't always give it to him. I try to explain that if he didn't get to call all the time, it would be different. I understand my husband in more ways than most people do, when they first meet him. He is not the easiest person to tolerate or get along with. For the most part me and him click. I couldn't imagine my life without him, even if he annoys me all the time. Mostly today, I spent alot of time cleaning and thinking. Thats what I do, I clean when I'm mad or stewing on something. Which is most days why my house is spotless lol. Today was a cleaning day, and I still haven't figured out anything. I think I need more bleach lol. Well it's thunderstorming and I might lose connection, so I'll cut this short. Don't look so much at whats wrong with life but more to what is right. The rest will fall into place.
CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IT DONE.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
DAY FIVE: YA THEY AREN'T THAT INNOCENT/ JUST THINKING BOUT STUFF
Dear Readers,
Well going off some of the other blogs, I've decided to write that ya they are not that innocent. They may not be getting any physically but cyber sex and webcam seem to be popular. Guess what? sorry to say I don't share. so enough about that cause that speaks for itself. It is another day of loneiness and some days are easier than others, today wasn't so much. Between last night and today a bunch of shit happened and I was stressed out!!! me and the hubby worked it out but it just made me wish he was here to handle the rest of everything else. I've only made a few friends here in GA. one is leaving me, but I still got rissa. but then I get to thinking about the next base we will be moving to. I have no idea as of yet where that will be but it's coming. I'm an army brat born and bred for this life. But the packing up and moving does get old, to certain extent. As my husband laces up his boots, I'll pack the house and move. It's what we do, we follow our men to where they go, and even off to war. I think the war is getting old though, I think they should have sent 7 miliatary wives over on the rag, and we would have won. not one bullet would have been wasted and we retain water lol. they wouldn't have seen it coming cause let me to tell you, the CIA has nothing on a woman with a plan!
CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IS DONE
Well going off some of the other blogs, I've decided to write that ya they are not that innocent. They may not be getting any physically but cyber sex and webcam seem to be popular. Guess what? sorry to say I don't share. so enough about that cause that speaks for itself. It is another day of loneiness and some days are easier than others, today wasn't so much. Between last night and today a bunch of shit happened and I was stressed out!!! me and the hubby worked it out but it just made me wish he was here to handle the rest of everything else. I've only made a few friends here in GA. one is leaving me, but I still got rissa. but then I get to thinking about the next base we will be moving to. I have no idea as of yet where that will be but it's coming. I'm an army brat born and bred for this life. But the packing up and moving does get old, to certain extent. As my husband laces up his boots, I'll pack the house and move. It's what we do, we follow our men to where they go, and even off to war. I think the war is getting old though, I think they should have sent 7 miliatary wives over on the rag, and we would have won. not one bullet would have been wasted and we retain water lol. they wouldn't have seen it coming cause let me to tell you, the CIA has nothing on a woman with a plan!
CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IS DONE
DAY FIVE: JUST ANOTHER PISSY DAY OF LONELINESS
Dear Readers,
Lets just say today sucks......I have had another lonely day with out my husband.Some days I just wonder if Ill make it another FOUR MONTHS. Please DEAR GOD<3 <3 Please bring him home safe.I cant go on with out him there is no way.Since my hubs has left granted he left last DEC., I am now suffer from Severe Depression,and a Anxiety disorder. I have severe anxiety attacks at stressful times. Granted none of this happened till he left then again it could be two kids. No really the anxiety didn't start till after he left to back after R & R about mid May it hit me and i went through some serious suicidal moments.I couldn't breathe I couldn't function at all.I just wanted all the pain to go away.They put me on a heavy anxiety medicine.Ive been doing better my depression is not to bad now days that i have all my readers to write for.There may not be many of you but you keep me busy knowing everyday. I promised you as my readers i would at least write once a day. Needless to say i am out of my meds,Yesterday I have to go get a shot in my shoulder of cortisone and let me tell that shit hurts. So i figured since i was up so late last night and I'm talking 6am before I fell asleep. on top of that I latterly passed out of exhaustion on my shoulder.When I awoke I figured I would be so sore.This new medicine they put me on works wonders I was able to go grocery shopping painless. I forgot to mention while i was at the doctors i was all cool till they told me I was getting a shot OK no big deal right , No they had to put it in between my shoulders I
freaked out started having a attack and i couldn't breathe and i was feeling light headed. When it was done it kinda slowed down and i got a Lil better. When I left I had to run on post and get my meds filled and my best friend invited me for dinner so i went there and had dinner during dinner i started having chest pain and it just wouldn't stop.So i decided I would go home and rest then when i got here the pain in my shoulder was killing me so i couldn't sleep . Damn I could see staying up that late when i was younger but now I'm 23 and 23 might not seem so old to you but you gotta realize I had a baby the year I graduate High School. I had her In Dec. of 2004 and when i walked across that stage i had a full time job of being A mom. I didn't get to go off to college and have a life it just started. I love her to death don't get me wrong but I wish I would have waited i could have had a life. I have several issues with trying to feed here and get money to pay for her and me her father left when she was 6months I just shrugged it off i got a job and i started working. My grand parents paid for me to go to school and i went I became a and i worked my ass off I mean up to 80 Hrs a week i had never had this kinda money and i got greedy so she stayed with family a lot and i worked all the time. My husband then came back around in DEC of 08 but in Jan of 06 i married another man that left for prison a week after we married and again i was alone. I started hating him for doing it to me and I started a divorce case and i got back with my ex (now my hubby) And we tried working things out and decided that it was worth a shot I went to court In Jan. of 08 and wasn't granted my divorce there was all kids of stuff to get done and in April of 08 my hubs left for basic with the army. I had stuff to do so i went back to work and started getting ready to pay for a whole new divorce. I was still talking to my hubs went down there to see him graduate basic but he still had AIT and i left to go back to work i found out i was pregnant with id days I had a miscarriage and decided OK it wasn't for us. I had to go back in a month to Fort Benning for his graduation from AIT we spent three days there and obviously had sex. He had to report to Fort Stewart on the 8th of Aug. And he left i would remain In Texas til i was officially divorced I found out on Aug 23 that i was pregnant. I was on the phone with him when i found out so i told him and we got all excited. I was suppose to go to court the next day so I went and my divorce was not granted. It pissed me off so I left for Georgia I was suppose to be divorced and I wasn't so I just left i was prepared and paid for another attorney to start it and was getting ready for court when my hubs got into a lot of trouble then it came up i was still married so they took him back on post and kicked me out of the house and i was out ON the street with a baby in my tummy. I called my dad he came all the way to GA and picked me up took me to TX and i lived with him. I found out i was gonna have my son on the 20th of April and i was due in court on the 23 of April and i was definitely getting divorced so I called my hubs and they told him if it was a for sure thing he could come to Texas and the baby born he arrived two days before i was to have a c section and we tried to make me go into labor early. Well because I was cutting it really close. I had my son early morning on the 20th got out of the hospital two days later. Went home relaxed got up early and made it to court...In the state of Texas you can not be granted a divorce if you are pregnant no matter the situation. And i hadn't been with him for almost three years so I took a lot of pain meds and faced the judge my mother was behind me holding me up I was swaying. The judge looked at the paperwork and granted my case. I went home got my hubs and because he was active duty I didn't have to wait three days to get married we applied for a marriage license like an hour after I got out of court. I had me papers took them with me and it was done all we had to do was get married and my hubs was leaving in three days.We got up the next morning telling no one but our best friends they showed up to be witnesses and hold the kids. We got married and he left. The army was giving him heel that I didn't need to be here cause he was to deploy in less than a year so I waited till he was in the field packed up everything and headed for GA. I arrived the 9th of June and have been here every since. This is the end to my blog today since Ive been writing it for over three hours.
Peace, Love,and Happiness
Lets just say today sucks......I have had another lonely day with out my husband.Some days I just wonder if Ill make it another FOUR MONTHS. Please DEAR GOD<3 <3 Please bring him home safe.I cant go on with out him there is no way.Since my hubs has left granted he left last DEC., I am now suffer from Severe Depression,and a Anxiety disorder. I have severe anxiety attacks at stressful times. Granted none of this happened till he left then again it could be two kids. No really the anxiety didn't start till after he left to back after R & R about mid May it hit me and i went through some serious suicidal moments.I couldn't breathe I couldn't function at all.I just wanted all the pain to go away.They put me on a heavy anxiety medicine.Ive been doing better my depression is not to bad now days that i have all my readers to write for.There may not be many of you but you keep me busy knowing everyday. I promised you as my readers i would at least write once a day. Needless to say i am out of my meds,Yesterday I have to go get a shot in my shoulder of cortisone and let me tell that shit hurts. So i figured since i was up so late last night and I'm talking 6am before I fell asleep. on top of that I latterly passed out of exhaustion on my shoulder.When I awoke I figured I would be so sore.This new medicine they put me on works wonders I was able to go grocery shopping painless. I forgot to mention while i was at the doctors i was all cool till they told me I was getting a shot OK no big deal right , No they had to put it in between my shoulders I
freaked out started having a attack and i couldn't breathe and i was feeling light headed. When it was done it kinda slowed down and i got a Lil better. When I left I had to run on post and get my meds filled and my best friend invited me for dinner so i went there and had dinner during dinner i started having chest pain and it just wouldn't stop.So i decided I would go home and rest then when i got here the pain in my shoulder was killing me so i couldn't sleep . Damn I could see staying up that late when i was younger but now I'm 23 and 23 might not seem so old to you but you gotta realize I had a baby the year I graduate High School. I had her In Dec. of 2004 and when i walked across that stage i had a full time job of being A mom. I didn't get to go off to college and have a life it just started. I love her to death don't get me wrong but I wish I would have waited i could have had a life. I have several issues with trying to feed here and get money to pay for her and me her father left when she was 6months I just shrugged it off i got a job and i started working. My grand parents paid for me to go to school and i went I became a and i worked my ass off I mean up to 80 Hrs a week i had never had this kinda money and i got greedy so she stayed with family a lot and i worked all the time. My husband then came back around in DEC of 08 but in Jan of 06 i married another man that left for prison a week after we married and again i was alone. I started hating him for doing it to me and I started a divorce case and i got back with my ex (now my hubby) And we tried working things out and decided that it was worth a shot I went to court In Jan. of 08 and wasn't granted my divorce there was all kids of stuff to get done and in April of 08 my hubs left for basic with the army. I had stuff to do so i went back to work and started getting ready to pay for a whole new divorce. I was still talking to my hubs went down there to see him graduate basic but he still had AIT and i left to go back to work i found out i was pregnant with id days I had a miscarriage and decided OK it wasn't for us. I had to go back in a month to Fort Benning for his graduation from AIT we spent three days there and obviously had sex. He had to report to Fort Stewart on the 8th of Aug. And he left i would remain In Texas til i was officially divorced I found out on Aug 23 that i was pregnant. I was on the phone with him when i found out so i told him and we got all excited. I was suppose to go to court the next day so I went and my divorce was not granted. It pissed me off so I left for Georgia I was suppose to be divorced and I wasn't so I just left i was prepared and paid for another attorney to start it and was getting ready for court when my hubs got into a lot of trouble then it came up i was still married so they took him back on post and kicked me out of the house and i was out ON the street with a baby in my tummy. I called my dad he came all the way to GA and picked me up took me to TX and i lived with him. I found out i was gonna have my son on the 20th of April and i was due in court on the 23 of April and i was definitely getting divorced so I called my hubs and they told him if it was a for sure thing he could come to Texas and the baby born he arrived two days before i was to have a c section and we tried to make me go into labor early. Well because I was cutting it really close. I had my son early morning on the 20th got out of the hospital two days later. Went home relaxed got up early and made it to court...In the state of Texas you can not be granted a divorce if you are pregnant no matter the situation. And i hadn't been with him for almost three years so I took a lot of pain meds and faced the judge my mother was behind me holding me up I was swaying. The judge looked at the paperwork and granted my case. I went home got my hubs and because he was active duty I didn't have to wait three days to get married we applied for a marriage license like an hour after I got out of court. I had me papers took them with me and it was done all we had to do was get married and my hubs was leaving in three days.We got up the next morning telling no one but our best friends they showed up to be witnesses and hold the kids. We got married and he left. The army was giving him heel that I didn't need to be here cause he was to deploy in less than a year so I waited till he was in the field packed up everything and headed for GA. I arrived the 9th of June and have been here every since. This is the end to my blog today since Ive been writing it for over three hours.
Peace, Love,and Happiness
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
DAY FOUR: THERE IS NOW TWO WIVES POSTING.
Dear Readers,
Ok lets start by saying the obvious....there is two army wives posting now. When it says peace,love,and happiness, it me Rissa.When it says chaos and disorder my work is done, it is Blackrose. I'm having her join my blog, to bring up her side of issues.As army wives we are explaining our life so others dont feel alone during deployment. In other words life is not a walk in the park, for either army wife or civillian. Ok readers Im done Peace,Love,And Happiness
Ok lets start by saying the obvious....there is two army wives posting now. When it says peace,love,and happiness, it me Rissa.When it says chaos and disorder my work is done, it is Blackrose. I'm having her join my blog, to bring up her side of issues.As army wives we are explaining our life so others dont feel alone during deployment. In other words life is not a walk in the park, for either army wife or civillian. Ok readers Im done Peace,Love,And Happiness
DAY FOUR: WE ARE SOLDIERS TOO.
Dear Readers,
Have you ever heard a soldier or even your spouse say you don't know what it's like to be a soldier? To go off to war and come back to nothing being the same. Well guess what I've got to say? WE ARE SOLDIERS TOO. When our men go off to war, our heart follows them, we deal with their stress over there on top of what we deal with on our own here. Like my old friend told her husband, "you may put your life on the line, but so do I because if you were killed, I'd want to crawl in the grave with you." I even here some of the soldiers saying "I've gone days without sleeping" well if you think that is tough try being a military wife! We go a whole year without sleep during deployment, and when you add a baby on top of it we are lucky to ever sleep again lol.
It's hard dealing with the mans responsibility while they are gone, from fixing stuff around the house to taking out the trash it seems our days are never done. Where our days were divided between the two of us has now all been placed on one set of shoulders. There are wives out there who are new mothers for the first time, on top of going through a first deployment. It's one thing to be just the wife left at home, and learn to be strong for yourself but when you have kids, you got to get a grip quick and do what you have to do. you can't just stay in bed and wish a year was up. There is a house to clean, bills to be paid and kids to take care of. And I'm not going to lie, there are sometimes that it will all come to a head and you explode. Those are the days we call "the fuck it" days. where nothing gets done, and you find your best friend and get shit faced. you may have a hell of a hangover the next day but it's good to let lose on that day and just get it all out so just maybe you can face another day. I think after the first couple of weeks the emptiness goes away, to be replaced with the last words of I love you on a phone call and knowing that the end will come. Its not that life is over though it seems that way, it's feeling as if the floor has been ripped out from under us, when it finally hits us that they are gone. My hubby is my best friend as well as my lover. Life just isn't the same when he isn't around, even when he annoys me, which any good husband will do. I start missing those little things. that used to annoy me so much. See readers, I used to believe in fairy tales. The happy ever afters. Now I only believe in sunrises and sunsets cause most days I see both, and it's another day I can check off the calendar.
"CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IS DONE"
Have you ever heard a soldier or even your spouse say you don't know what it's like to be a soldier? To go off to war and come back to nothing being the same. Well guess what I've got to say? WE ARE SOLDIERS TOO. When our men go off to war, our heart follows them, we deal with their stress over there on top of what we deal with on our own here. Like my old friend told her husband, "you may put your life on the line, but so do I because if you were killed, I'd want to crawl in the grave with you." I even here some of the soldiers saying "I've gone days without sleeping" well if you think that is tough try being a military wife! We go a whole year without sleep during deployment, and when you add a baby on top of it we are lucky to ever sleep again lol.
It's hard dealing with the mans responsibility while they are gone, from fixing stuff around the house to taking out the trash it seems our days are never done. Where our days were divided between the two of us has now all been placed on one set of shoulders. There are wives out there who are new mothers for the first time, on top of going through a first deployment. It's one thing to be just the wife left at home, and learn to be strong for yourself but when you have kids, you got to get a grip quick and do what you have to do. you can't just stay in bed and wish a year was up. There is a house to clean, bills to be paid and kids to take care of. And I'm not going to lie, there are sometimes that it will all come to a head and you explode. Those are the days we call "the fuck it" days. where nothing gets done, and you find your best friend and get shit faced. you may have a hell of a hangover the next day but it's good to let lose on that day and just get it all out so just maybe you can face another day. I think after the first couple of weeks the emptiness goes away, to be replaced with the last words of I love you on a phone call and knowing that the end will come. Its not that life is over though it seems that way, it's feeling as if the floor has been ripped out from under us, when it finally hits us that they are gone. My hubby is my best friend as well as my lover. Life just isn't the same when he isn't around, even when he annoys me, which any good husband will do. I start missing those little things. that used to annoy me so much. See readers, I used to believe in fairy tales. The happy ever afters. Now I only believe in sunrises and sunsets cause most days I see both, and it's another day I can check off the calendar.
"CHAOS AND DISORDER, MY WORK IS DONE"
Monday, July 19, 2010
DAY THREE: PLEASE SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!!!!
Dear Readers,
I have had rather a rough day, bad thing is its just beginning. I didn't go to sleep until 3am this morning, gosh and I'm tired. On top of that, I forgot to take my meds on time,needless to say i woke up with a serious migraine........can we say darkness please!!!!!! For those of you who worry... I know I'm one . My daughter Squirt is doing just fine other than getting on my nerves. With a migraine what kid doesn't get on your nerves? Anyways back to my blog......damn I don't feel good. OK well I was interested in lots of posts on facebook yesterday.So if your one of my readers tell me what you think of my point of view.For starters lets just say, what you say is your business not anyone elses unless you are talking shit.I however do not like the approach some wives are taking against other wives.....But like always everyone has their own opinion.Well since your reading my blog you getting mine.:) There was a post on facebook about one individuals husband being off and her spending time with him. First off we live a military life if you are lucky enough to get a day off.....YOU ARE LUCKY! When you do, you use it to spend with your family we all know too well that our days with our loved ones are numbered before they deploy again. That being said.....If for some reason your hubs doesn't get a day off, more than likely there is a reason behind it. I know this all too well cause my hubs believe it or not.Is no angel, we had times where we only saw him for sleep and that was it, but was lucky to see him for that. Granted I don't know the whole story but it was taken to the Sgt. and the argument was from the other side saying her husband does not get any days off....it was then passed to the husband of the individual then to the wife that she does not need to be posting about when her hubs has a day off. Its like rubbing it in to the other wife"quote hear say". I would be very pissed and I have to agree with what most of the post did. If you don't like it don't read it!!!!! That's why there is a HIDE button. All of this could have been avoided if the person wasn't so damn picky, granted I don't know the whole story but in my opinion it sounds like BULLSHIT!!!! I'm not trying to start drama or piss anyone off but if you have a problem take it to the individual NOT the army. Quite using your husbands rank for your authority!!!! When you use your husbands rank to your advantage...your playing dirty and all the cards are off the table.I can say if you did this to me I would fight fire with fire. I'm wondering what kinda world we live in that army wives cant get along with each other in the time of need? Okay enough on that subject for our second agenda today.I don't know who all my readers are so for that matter lets start simple....I was accused in hear say, that I was cheating on my hubs.But after I got all pissed off and controlling and swearing I didn't do it have figured out the whole context of it.I am for all my readers a friend someone who can express what others feel but cant express. I am telling you cause I can finally admit it to the world, I am bisexual. I had posted on all kinds of things on facebook saying I was looking for a girlfriend. To some old fashioned people this seems like cheating and that fine you have your own opinion, but to me it helps me deal with my hubs being gone even it I'm not sleeping with her for goodness sake its 2010.For she is my shoulder to lean on when my hubs is gone or when I need to just chill. And your right we might decide to have sex. But that is our own business and nobody elses. I have not done anything with a woman in a long time lets just say years. But if I do that is my choice.. not for other army wives to run their mouth about. I can promise you my hubs knows about me and what I'm "doing". He agrees with me completely or I wouldn't even be posting it. I don't know who started it and frankly I don't give a shit. I just want my readers to know what happens when troops deploy rumors fly. There is also another subject to this blog for today. I know someone that is struggling with somethings and I'm putting this out their not to piss them off but to show the world deployed soldiers are not so innocent. All you ever hear about is wives cheating when troops deploy. Well this time the shoe is on the other foot.I was told that a certain someone was having phone sex or rather cyber sex with all kinds of girls. I mean exes and unknown people. Not sure how many or for what reason but this person happened to bring up a very good point....why go somewhere else to get something you could be getting at home. This person is a husband and from what I understand the wife is a stay at home mom with one kid and had plenty of time to talk to her hubby.But he chooses to ignore her and have this cyber sex with other people. I wanna know your thoughts my readers. Cause I could tell you if it was me I would be on a plane overseas and be kicking some ass. This is a very old thought so before you freak out and start trying to figure out who it is .Its private and it shall stay that way. I just wanted to bring up that those soldiers every one thinks are angels don't seem to be now that this was brought to the surface. I posted this because like most things that happen during a deployment are never known. I'm sick and tired of "The Wife" always being the bad guy. I'm a very outspoken and opinionated person and damn it if I'm wrong Ill tell ya I'm wrong. Readers I wanna know what things get on your nerves or that are just plain stupid with the army of just regular thoughts. Well my blog had come to an end. Peace , Love , and Happiness.
P.S. I understand that some wives don't wanna go to rank and go through all the drama. But if you feel alone about something and would like it mentioned on my blog. Send me an email and we can decide if you wanna put it out there. My blog will always remain private and open to anything.
I have had rather a rough day, bad thing is its just beginning. I didn't go to sleep until 3am this morning, gosh and I'm tired. On top of that, I forgot to take my meds on time,needless to say i woke up with a serious migraine........can we say darkness please!!!!!! For those of you who worry... I know I'm one . My daughter Squirt is doing just fine other than getting on my nerves. With a migraine what kid doesn't get on your nerves? Anyways back to my blog......damn I don't feel good. OK well I was interested in lots of posts on facebook yesterday.So if your one of my readers tell me what you think of my point of view.For starters lets just say, what you say is your business not anyone elses unless you are talking shit.I however do not like the approach some wives are taking against other wives.....But like always everyone has their own opinion.Well since your reading my blog you getting mine.:) There was a post on facebook about one individuals husband being off and her spending time with him. First off we live a military life if you are lucky enough to get a day off.....YOU ARE LUCKY! When you do, you use it to spend with your family we all know too well that our days with our loved ones are numbered before they deploy again. That being said.....If for some reason your hubs doesn't get a day off, more than likely there is a reason behind it. I know this all too well cause my hubs believe it or not.Is no angel, we had times where we only saw him for sleep and that was it, but was lucky to see him for that. Granted I don't know the whole story but it was taken to the Sgt. and the argument was from the other side saying her husband does not get any days off....it was then passed to the husband of the individual then to the wife that she does not need to be posting about when her hubs has a day off. Its like rubbing it in to the other wife"quote hear say". I would be very pissed and I have to agree with what most of the post did. If you don't like it don't read it!!!!! That's why there is a HIDE button. All of this could have been avoided if the person wasn't so damn picky, granted I don't know the whole story but in my opinion it sounds like BULLSHIT!!!! I'm not trying to start drama or piss anyone off but if you have a problem take it to the individual NOT the army. Quite using your husbands rank for your authority!!!! When you use your husbands rank to your advantage...your playing dirty and all the cards are off the table.I can say if you did this to me I would fight fire with fire. I'm wondering what kinda world we live in that army wives cant get along with each other in the time of need? Okay enough on that subject for our second agenda today.I don't know who all my readers are so for that matter lets start simple....I was accused in hear say, that I was cheating on my hubs.But after I got all pissed off and controlling and swearing I didn't do it have figured out the whole context of it.I am for all my readers a friend someone who can express what others feel but cant express. I am telling you cause I can finally admit it to the world, I am bisexual. I had posted on all kinds of things on facebook saying I was looking for a girlfriend. To some old fashioned people this seems like cheating and that fine you have your own opinion, but to me it helps me deal with my hubs being gone even it I'm not sleeping with her for goodness sake its 2010.For she is my shoulder to lean on when my hubs is gone or when I need to just chill. And your right we might decide to have sex. But that is our own business and nobody elses. I have not done anything with a woman in a long time lets just say years. But if I do that is my choice.. not for other army wives to run their mouth about. I can promise you my hubs knows about me and what I'm "doing". He agrees with me completely or I wouldn't even be posting it. I don't know who started it and frankly I don't give a shit. I just want my readers to know what happens when troops deploy rumors fly. There is also another subject to this blog for today. I know someone that is struggling with somethings and I'm putting this out their not to piss them off but to show the world deployed soldiers are not so innocent. All you ever hear about is wives cheating when troops deploy. Well this time the shoe is on the other foot.I was told that a certain someone was having phone sex or rather cyber sex with all kinds of girls. I mean exes and unknown people. Not sure how many or for what reason but this person happened to bring up a very good point....why go somewhere else to get something you could be getting at home. This person is a husband and from what I understand the wife is a stay at home mom with one kid and had plenty of time to talk to her hubby.But he chooses to ignore her and have this cyber sex with other people. I wanna know your thoughts my readers. Cause I could tell you if it was me I would be on a plane overseas and be kicking some ass. This is a very old thought so before you freak out and start trying to figure out who it is .Its private and it shall stay that way. I just wanted to bring up that those soldiers every one thinks are angels don't seem to be now that this was brought to the surface. I posted this because like most things that happen during a deployment are never known. I'm sick and tired of "The Wife" always being the bad guy. I'm a very outspoken and opinionated person and damn it if I'm wrong Ill tell ya I'm wrong. Readers I wanna know what things get on your nerves or that are just plain stupid with the army of just regular thoughts. Well my blog had come to an end. Peace , Love , and Happiness.
P.S. I understand that some wives don't wanna go to rank and go through all the drama. But if you feel alone about something and would like it mentioned on my blog. Send me an email and we can decide if you wanna put it out there. My blog will always remain private and open to anything.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
DAY TWO: I ADDED SOME NEW STUFF TO MY BLOG
Dear Readers,
Its me again........I added a media player of some songs that I like, Im saying as an army wife,I would scroll down the list and listen to The Military Wife. I love it.........there are some more good ones.If you would like to see the video go to: YouTube and type in: The Military Wife By Soldier Hard.... Not a long blog, just some info and I warn you if you listen more than likely you will cry. Support us is good too. Peace , Love , and Happiness
Its me again........I added a media player of some songs that I like, Im saying as an army wife,I would scroll down the list and listen to The Military Wife. I love it.........there are some more good ones.If you would like to see the video go to: YouTube and type in: The Military Wife By Soldier Hard.... Not a long blog, just some info and I warn you if you listen more than likely you will cry. Support us is good too. Peace , Love , and Happiness
DAY TWO: WORKING MY ASS OFF
Dear Readers,
Today has been busy, I started to add poems, qoutes,and info on military sites. To those who read if you would like your site added let me know.I originally posted them as blogs and then I decide to take a different route.So they are for everyone to read,I did not write them just passing them on.So tired today, had an issue yesterday. My daughter(lets call her Squirt after the baby turtle on NEMO) decided that yesterday sounded like a good day to stab herself in the eye with a screw driver......I KNOW.....So anyways took her to the E.R. and they put dye in her eye....It was COOL....her eye was orange, then they took a black light and you could see it glow....COOL...yes, she stabbed it just about this long (......). So for now she has to put antibiotics in 4x a day for 7 days.So needless to say for future refences hide all your screwdrivers....*wink wink*. She thinks now she is the shit....everytime I turn around its "Oh Mommy I need to put my drops in!" I swear this kid is more OCD than I am.But anyways got to talk to the hubs today and hour and a half. Needless to say same shit just different day in Iraq. If there is one thing you readers should remember from my post, one little bit of info......when your hubs deploys your never alone you always have me.....For I am writing of my distress of everyday deployment life.I will pass on to every future army wife or for that matter, every military wife...remember to stop and smell the roses.Deployment is hard I cant suger coat it for you,I wouldnt even imagine wishing it upon you.I sit here day in and day out in my same state of mind.....hes gone and there is that chance that he wont come back and than that is something Im gonna have to live with.I question myself daily on what I would tell my children or how I would explain that their father is gone.....Is never gonna be here anymore.Then I ask myself why I chose this life and all I can come up with is I didnt choose this life it chose me.For I married a man for who he is not what he does.I will keep writing for as long as the lord above shall give me time to write, but I will tell you these blogs are written from the heart and written in tears.For they are all my heart and soul combined. Some days I just walk like Im a zombie in another time not knowing the date or for that matter the time.Being a army wife, is a job that unexplainable, its heartwrenching, its bitter sadness. But as an army wife we must just keep moving on, like I posted yesterday every day passes without fail....I know it seems to go on forever but I promise it shall end.....just believe that it will...with every beginning there is always an end......I know that for most of us who cant seem to find enough to keep us busy,days seem like weeks,weeks seem like months,months seem like years.But in time you will see the one you love, he shall return to you...hopefully in the same package he left in ...But like I told you before Im not here to sugar coat it some will lose the one we love...Its destiny we cant change that. But always remember they may have left us in a touch and feel kind of state,but that they are always in our hearts. For when you marry someone you always hold a piece of their heart. That no one can take from you. I know as an army wife times are hard , hard doesnt even begin to explain it...We lay our head down at night in an empty bed, where so much love was made......you have to believe even though half the heart is gone the love is still there. Before you go to bed tonight think of your soldier and just pray....pray that he is returned to you safely. For those of you, if any that are not a military spouse just pray that our soldiers make it home safely. I beleive this blog has come to an end......But I hope you pass this on to all your friends.Please leave comments so I know im not alone. Peace, Love, and Happiness
Today has been busy, I started to add poems, qoutes,and info on military sites. To those who read if you would like your site added let me know.I originally posted them as blogs and then I decide to take a different route.So they are for everyone to read,I did not write them just passing them on.So tired today, had an issue yesterday. My daughter(lets call her Squirt after the baby turtle on NEMO) decided that yesterday sounded like a good day to stab herself in the eye with a screw driver......I KNOW.....So anyways took her to the E.R. and they put dye in her eye....It was COOL....her eye was orange, then they took a black light and you could see it glow....COOL...yes, she stabbed it just about this long (......). So for now she has to put antibiotics in 4x a day for 7 days.So needless to say for future refences hide all your screwdrivers....*wink wink*. She thinks now she is the shit....everytime I turn around its "Oh Mommy I need to put my drops in!" I swear this kid is more OCD than I am.But anyways got to talk to the hubs today and hour and a half. Needless to say same shit just different day in Iraq. If there is one thing you readers should remember from my post, one little bit of info......when your hubs deploys your never alone you always have me.....For I am writing of my distress of everyday deployment life.I will pass on to every future army wife or for that matter, every military wife...remember to stop and smell the roses.Deployment is hard I cant suger coat it for you,I wouldnt even imagine wishing it upon you.I sit here day in and day out in my same state of mind.....hes gone and there is that chance that he wont come back and than that is something Im gonna have to live with.I question myself daily on what I would tell my children or how I would explain that their father is gone.....Is never gonna be here anymore.Then I ask myself why I chose this life and all I can come up with is I didnt choose this life it chose me.For I married a man for who he is not what he does.I will keep writing for as long as the lord above shall give me time to write, but I will tell you these blogs are written from the heart and written in tears.For they are all my heart and soul combined. Some days I just walk like Im a zombie in another time not knowing the date or for that matter the time.Being a army wife, is a job that unexplainable, its heartwrenching, its bitter sadness. But as an army wife we must just keep moving on, like I posted yesterday every day passes without fail....I know it seems to go on forever but I promise it shall end.....just believe that it will...with every beginning there is always an end......I know that for most of us who cant seem to find enough to keep us busy,days seem like weeks,weeks seem like months,months seem like years.But in time you will see the one you love, he shall return to you...hopefully in the same package he left in ...But like I told you before Im not here to sugar coat it some will lose the one we love...Its destiny we cant change that. But always remember they may have left us in a touch and feel kind of state,but that they are always in our hearts. For when you marry someone you always hold a piece of their heart. That no one can take from you. I know as an army wife times are hard , hard doesnt even begin to explain it...We lay our head down at night in an empty bed, where so much love was made......you have to believe even though half the heart is gone the love is still there. Before you go to bed tonight think of your soldier and just pray....pray that he is returned to you safely. For those of you, if any that are not a military spouse just pray that our soldiers make it home safely. I beleive this blog has come to an end......But I hope you pass this on to all your friends.Please leave comments so I know im not alone. Peace, Love, and Happiness
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Day One:A Beginning Of A New Start.
OK Readers here goes.....this day have been a rather slow one i didn't get up till 12:20pm.Had a long day yesterday, got to meet a friend....well a friend with possible benefits..and before you go to gasp it is a girl. I will not tell her name for privacy but lets call her....craigslist girl.She was more amazing than I could ever imagine.She was both enticing yet intriguing.....We went swimming at her house and the kids loved it.Ive never had much of an life I got pregnant at 16 turned 17 JR. in high school and had a baby.My daughter is now 5yrs old......where did the time go? She will be starting Kindergarten this year and I'm a lil upset....my baby is growing up.She is so smart now and she hardly ever needs me and always... I mean always wants make up on.So back to my story I'm still experiencing things that I have never done. I have been with my husband working on 7yrs but we have only been married for one.As my profile says I'm an army wife.I cant complain except for the fact that hes never here.Ive found in the time that Ive been an army wife that there is but one truth about it that every army wife discovers in time,"THE ARMY IS MY HUSBANDS MISTRESS,AND THAT BITCH HAS HIM MORE THAN I DO!". I miss my husband dearly,some days I wonder if I'm going to make it to the next.But as every army wife discovers in our journey in life that each day passes with out fail. A lot of us wonder as our spouses are deployed will they ever return home?....Or will we get that dreadful knock at our doors to announce of our soldiers death..just thinking about it gives me the chills.Yet we know that flag they put their life on the line for will also blanket them in death. The thought of that brings me to tears....I wonder if my spouse will have the glory of dying for his country? All I want is for our soldiers to come home safely.In this blog I shall mention where I am stationed as it appears to be the only support to have at the moment.I am a lovely resident of Hinesville, GA. I live off post but we are currently at Fort Stewart. I miss my husband.....and I cant express that enough.We talk everyday,but talking isn't the same as seeing, as living with , and as actually being with him when some times I need him the most...As I mentioned in my profile I have severe depression and an anxiety disorder. So I cant promise Ill write everyday, but I'll do my best to try. Some days when times are rough you might get two post it just depends on the day.Alright I guess this is the end for today. Peace Love and Happiness
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